My plan goes like this: one day, I will move to Victoria Island, in the far Canadian Arctic North™. There, I will change my name to Nubasabasut. Or perhaps Uluktasatok. Not because they mean anything, they just sound cool. I would partake in Inuit throat singing, and in the process become a virtuoso, achieving renown across civilisation as the “Guttural Nightingale.” Then, once I have gained their trust, I will assemble an expansive army of seals and walruses and descend onto the mainland to claim Uranium City as my own, transforming it into a city state where my will is law.

And I will immediately instate No Age’s Eraser as our national anthem. There will be nothing more prideful than standing erect, hands pressed against our chests, listening to the eager experimental cacophony of the L.A. duo’s ample harmonies. And when we win the gold at the Winter Olympics in downhill skiing, speed skating, and dolphin mongering (it will have become an official event by then), millions of people across the world will listen with envy as the resonating boisterousness reveals an infectious texture, an unexpected catchiness brought on by bustling hooks, pop-worthy effects, and unbound, wide-eyed exuberance.

Of course, my plan will come crashing down once I declare war on Norway and am forced to abdicate to their conquering armies, what with their nuclear-powered drakkars and ‘roid-raging viking hordes and such.

MP3: No Age - Eraser

myspace.com/nonoage

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