If my profession were “secret weapon inventor,” I would invent the greatest secret weapon conceivable by humankind: the flying badger wrapped in Christmas lights.

The tricky part would be to get them to fly. Early prototypes would probably involve jet propulsion, but the real success of the operation would be genetic manipulation; badgers with wings. After that it’s just a matter of procreation; not to mention the oodles of moolah saved on jet fuel.

Then, once airborne badgers are a possibility, wrapping them in Christmas lights is key. By doing that, your unsuspecting victims will see the bright, colourful lights racing towards them from the sky, enchanted by the merry blinking kaleidoscope, realising only too late that their face is about to be eaten by savage mammals.

But like most inventions destined to change the course of history, they are still confined to the realm of the imagination. Like “fuck buttons,” for instance. Could you imagine a world where there was such a thing? Buttons that you could press and would instantly get full non-committal sexual gratification? Change the course of history, I says! Make it happen!

But as I we impatiently await such a device, we can treat ourselves to Fuck Buttons, the band, a Bristol-based duo of electronic experimentation. What these two invent is compelling, attention-coveting songs like Sweet Love For Planet Earth, which starts off rather low-key with sparkling keys speckled across the advancing, slow-build timeline, only to move into a gritty, distorted guitar drone and oppressive basstones from within which scrape out polyp-inducing vocals. But what’s even more remarkable is the self-restraint, which makes it an unparalleled gem, avoiding from falling into déjà vu territory with welcomed finesse.

And it’ll more than hold us over until we get actual fuck buttons.

MP3: Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love For Planet Earth

www.fuckbuttons.co.uk
myspace.com/fuckbuttons

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 1:35 pm and is filed under download, free, fuck buttons, MP3, Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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